From the author of the bestselling classics We're Just Like You, Only Prettier, and Bless Your Heart, Tramp, comes a collection of essays so funny, you'll shoot co'cola out of your nose. Topics include such gems as: • Why Miss North Carolina is too nice to hate • How Gwyneth Paltrow wants to improve your pathetic life • Strapped for cash? Try cat whispering • Sex every night for a year? How do you wrap that? • Get yer Wassail on: It's carolin' time • Airlines serving up one hot mess • Action figure Jesus • Why Clay Aiken ain't marrying your glandular daughter • And much more! Complete with a treasure trove of Celia's genuine southern recipes, You Can't Drink All Day if You Don't Start in the Morning is sure to appeal to anyone who lives south of something.

A selection of essays takes a humorous look at Southern life and style as it covers such topics as why the Sopranos could never survive down South, couple therapy Southern style, and how to become white trash.

Bestselling Author of We’re Just Like You, Only Prettier and Bless Your Heart, Tramp Hang on to your hats!  We’re in for some fiercely funny weather and crackling-sharp observations from Celia Rivenbark, of whom USA Today has said, “Think Dave Barry with a female point of view.” With her incomparable style and sassy southern wit, you’ll hear from Celia on:--The joys of remodeling Tara--How Harry Potter bitch-slaps Nancy Drew--Britney’s To-Do list: pick okra, cover that thang up--How rugby-playing lesbians torpedoed beach day--Why French women suck at competitive eating--The truth about nature deficit disorder--The difference between cockroaches and water bugs--The beauty of BedazzlersAnd much, much more! Whether she’s doing her taxes or extolling the virtues of Madonna’s mothering skills, Celia Rivenbark will keep you laughing until the very last page.  

Product Description: No matter what side of the Mason-Dixon line you live on,  you will find Celia Rivenbark's hilarious observations about Southern living as easy as a tall drink of sweet tea on a hundred degree day. In this latest collection of laugh-out-loud essays, you'll experience:*The joys of Remodeling Tara*Harry Potter Bitch-slaps Nancy Drew*Britney's To Do List: Pick Okra, Cover That Thang Up*How Rugby-playing Lesbians Torpedoed Beach Day*Why French Women Suck at Competitive Eating*The Truth About Nature Deficit Disorder *The difference between cockroaches and water bugs*The beauty of Bedazzlers*And much, much more!...read more

A humorous compilation of essays by the author of We're Just Like You, Only Prettier draws on her Southern heritage to address how to get one's child into a character breakfast at Disneyworld, the secrets of celebrity mothers, eBay addiction, why children's clothes make six-year-olds look like Vegas showgirls, and other commentary on life south of the Mason-Dixon line. Reprint.

A humorous compilation of essays by the author of We're Just Like You, Only Prettier draws on her Southern heritage to address how to get one's child into a character breakfast at Disneyworld, the secrets of celebrity mothers, eBay addiction, why children's clothes make six-year-olds look like Vegas showgirls, and other commentary on life south of the Mason-Dixon line. 100,000 first printing.

The author offers humorous observations on the human condition, particularly in the South, covering such topics as grits, beer, redneck women, television, ATMs, politics, work, funerals, friendship, and men.

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