“I've had my face revised from time to time. In fact, Darwin would be happy to know that my face is in a constant state of evolution.”

Leave it to the inimitable Joan Rivers to tell the whole truth about how women feel when it comes to getting older. Now, in this funny, charming, and practical new audio, she shows every woman how to be the best she can be and stay youthful, healthy, and mellow at any'and every'age. Don't Count the Candles offers down-to-earth, sensible advice on wardrobe, makeup, fitness, diet, surgery, sex (well, did you think she wouldn't? Grow up!), lifestyle, relationships, and everything in-between that every woman old enough to remember the Beatles needs.

• IQ does not decrease with age. If you were a moron at twenty, you will be a moron at seventy-five.

• They say that when you get older, your sex life diminishes. That would mean I'd owe.

• At fifty, confine your piercing to sardine cans and keep your hair short.

• A roll in the hay keeps the doctor away'unless he happens to be in the hay with you.

In her own personable style, Joan Rivers offers a unique, enlightening, and ultimately uplifting take on every aspect of staying young. Take it from her'the fight against time has only just begun. You've got a lot of living left to do!

Joan Rivers (who else?) reads!