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Tables of Contents for Heart on the Left
Chapter/Section Title
Page #
Page Count
MY NATIVE ARCHIPELAGO
12
78
To You
12
1
Icarus Shmicarus
13
1
C'mon Everybody
13
1
To Nye Bevan Despite His Change of Heart
14
1
I Tried, I Really Tried
15
1
As I Write There Is a Procession Passing My Window
16
1
Nostalgia--Now Threepence Off
17
1
So Don't Feed Your Dog Ordinary Meat, Feed Him Pal...
18
2
Time and Motion Study
20
1
From Riches to Riches
20
1
Ode to Money
21
1
Man at Large
21
2
Fascist Speaker
23
1
South Kensington Is Much Nicer
23
1
Reply to a Canvasser
24
1
Look at the View
25
1
The Beggar
25
1
The Observer
26
1
Solid Citizens
27
1
Song About Mary
28
1
Dream Chant
28
1
We Call Them Subnormal Children
29
1
For a Medical Dictionary
30
1
Final Chant
30
2
Early Shift on the Evening Standard News Desk
32
1
In Other Words, Hold My Head
33
1
A Party Political Broadcast on Behalf of the Burial Party
34
1
Found Poem
35
1
A Country Diary
36
1
Slogan Time
36
1
Dear Sir
37
1
Press Photographs
37
1
Just off Charing Cross Road There Are Alleys Full of Crocodiles
38
1
My Uncle Superhubert
39
1
Please Keep Off the Dead
39
1
Old Age Report
40
1
TV Talk
40
1
Now We Are Sick
41
1
Involvement
42
1
Divide and Rule for as Long as You Can
43
1
The Ballad of Sally Hit-and-Run
43
1
What Men Fear in Women
44
1
What Men Fear in Other Men
44
1
English Scene
45
1
A Warning
45
1
Revolution
45
1
Under Photographs of Two Party Leaders, Smiling
46
1
Ancestors
47
1
Saw It in the Papers
48
3
Ten Ways to Avoid Lending Your Wheelbarrow to Anybody
51
2
Vroomph! or The Popular Elastic Waist
53
1
Leaflets
54
1
Midnight Mary from Llandudno
55
1
World Cup Song
55
1
The Obliterating Prizes
56
1
Illumination
56
1
Ode to Enoch Powell
57
1
The Blackboard
58
1
Question Time in Ireland
58
1
The Savage Average
59
1
Small Adventure
59
1
What It Means to Be a Man in London
59
1
Barred from Every Decent Pub
60
1
Have Another
60
1
Closing Time
60
1
It All Shines
61
1
Loose Leaf Poem
62
7
Back in the Playground Blues
69
1
December Cat
70
1
The Swan
70
1
Farm Animals
71
1
On the Verses Entitled `Farm Animals'
72
1
The Owl Song
72
1
Commuting the Wrong Way Round Early Morning
73
1
For My Son
74
2
Brazil Nut in Edinburgh
76
1
Four Sorry Lines
76
1
Action and Reaction Blues
76
1
Screws and Saints
76
1
Nearly Nothing Blues
77
1
New Skipping Rhymes
77
1
The High School Bikeshed
78
1
Staying Awake
78
2
Bring Out Your Nonsense
80
1
Reassuring Song if Your Name...
80
1
All Darks Are Alike in the Death
81
1
Buy a Sprig of Haggis for Bad Luck, Sir?
81
1
Dinner with the Dons of Saint Abysmas's College, Oxbridge
81
1
Who Goes Where?
82
1
Give It to Me Ghostly
82
1
Bury My Bones with an Eddy Merckx
82
1
Third Opinion
83
1
Money and Booze
83
1
Social Being
84
1
Remember Red Lion Square?
85
1
The Christians Are Coming Goodbye
85
1
Ode To Her
85
2
On the Beach at Cambridge
87
3
RELIGION, ROYALTY AND THE ARTS
90
68
The Liberal Christ Gives a Press Conference
90
1
Many Many Many Mansions
91
1
Miserable Sinners
92
2
Sunday Poem
94
1
Old Testament, New Testament
94
1
Quite Apart from the Holy Ghost
95
1
The Eggs o' God
95
1
A Leaflet to be Dropped on China
96
2
ROYAL POEMS
98
8
Another Prince Is Born
98
1
Lying in State
98
1
Poem on the Occasion of the Return of HM the Queen from Canada
99
1
Royal Poems
100
1
The Prince of Wailers
101
1
Royal Whodunnit
101
1
My Shy Di in Newspaperland
102
4
THE ARTS
106
52
Goodbye
106
1
Jim Giuffre Plays `The Easy Way'
106
1
Buddy Bolden
106
1
Bessie Smith in Yorkshire
107
1
The Great Bell in Paul Robeson's Chest
108
1
What to Do if You Meet Nijinsky
109
1
Most People...
110
1
To the Statues in Poets' Corner, Westminster Abbey
110
1
Banana
110
1
Crusoe Dying in England
111
1
Whitman on Wheels
112
2
Canine Canto
114
1
Thank You Dick Gregory
114
1
Lullaby for William Blake
115
1
Birthday Song for Spike Hawkins, the Unholy Ghost
115
1
Love for Tony
116
1
For David Mercer
116
1
U-S-S-R Spells Happy
117
1
Hear the Voice of the Critic
117
1
The Ballad of the Death of Aeschylus
118
1
A Good Idea
119
1
Gaston the Peasant
120
1
Lady Macbeth in the Saloon Bar
120
1
Two Paintings by Manuel Mendive
121
1
To the Organisers of a Poetry Reading by Hugh MacDiarmid
122
1
Private Transport
123
1
What the Mermaid Told Me
123
3
Discovery
126
1
There Are Not Enough of Us
127
1
There Are Too Many of Them
127
1
Improvisation Time in the Rehearsal Room
127
2
Oscar Wilde in Flight
129
1
For Basil Bunting
129
1
John Keats Eats His Porridge
130
1
A Blessing for Kenneth Patchen's Grave
130
1
Roger McGough the Travel Courier
131
1
A Gublisher Is an Expensive Indian Settee...
131
1
The Brave Emergency Poet
132
1
Tribute to Monsieur Verne
133
1
First Tribute to Mark Twain
133
1
Second Tribute to Mark Twain
133
1
To a Lady
133
1
Ring of Dirty Water
133
1
Common Bloody Market Poem
134
1
Forster the Flying Fish
134
1
The Oxford Hysteria of English Poetry
135
3
The Uncollected Works of Volcano Jones
138
2
What Is Poetry?
140
1
Autumnobile
141
1
Land of Dopes and Loonies
142
2
To a Critic
144
1
A Sunset Procession Passing Ralph Steadman's House
144
2
Smilers
146
1
About Suffering They Were Never Wrong the Old Mistresses
146
1
Ode to George Melly
146
1
Daydream Number 157, 423
147
1
First Poem Composed in a Dream
147
1
Second Poem Composed in a Dream
147
1
For the Eightieth Birthday of Hoagy Carmichael
148
1
To Elizabeth Quinn...
148
1
Happy Fiftieth Deathbed
149
2
The Call
151
2
Lament for the Welsh Makers
153
5
LOVE, THE APEMAN, CURSES, BLESSINGS AND FRIENDS
158
64
Good Day
158
1
Celia Celia
158
1
Footnotes on Celia Celia
159
1
September Love Poem
159
1
The Accountant in His Bath
160
1
All Fools Day
161
1
Riddle
161
1
Take Stalk Between Teeth...
162
1
A Wise Woman
163
1
For Julietta, Who Asked for an Epitaph
163
1
Top-Notch Erotic Moment Thank You
163
1
Coming Back
164
1
The Angels in Our Heads
165
1
All Night Long
166
1
Out
166
1
A Girl Called Music
167
1
To a Godly Man
167
1
Hello Adrian
168
4
THE COLLECTED WORKS OF APEMAN MUDGEON
172
50
Apeman Keep Thinking It's Wednesday
172
1
The Apeman Who Hated Snakes
173
1
The Apeman's Hairy Body Song
174
1
Apeman Gives a Poetry Reading
174
1
It Ain't What They Do It's What the Apeman Do
175
1
The Apeman Recollects Emotion in Tranquillity
176
1
Apeman as Tourist Guide
177
1
Apeman's Science Fiction Dream
178
1
The Apeman's Motives
179
1
Confession
180
1
Self-Congratulating, Self-Deprecating, Auto-Destructive Blues
180
1
I Passed for Sane
181
1
Sometimes I Feel Like a Childless Mother
181
1
The Open Savage
181
1
The Institution
182
2
Daydream One
184
1
Daydream Two
184
1
A Slow Boat to Trafalgar
185
1
A Machine That Makes Love...
186
1
Snow Wheat, Snow What?
187
1
Holding My Water Under Breath
188
1
Toy Stone
188
1
Unfulfilled Suicide Note
189
1
We Moved to a Farmhouse in the Yorkshire Dales...
189
1
And Some Lemonade Too
190
1
It's Five O'Clock in the Morning
191
1
It's a Clean Machine
192
2
The Sun Likes Me
194
1
Self Critic
195
1
Adrian Mitchell's Famous Weak Bladder Blues
196
1
A Ballad of Human Nature
196
1
This Friend
197
1
Birthdays
197
2
The Only Electrical Crystal Ball...
199
1
Snaps
200
1
Funnyhouse of a Negro
200
1
My Dog Eats Nuts Too
201
1
A Spell to Make a Good Time Last
202
1
A Spell to Make a Bad Time Pass
203
2
A Curse on My Former Bank Manager
205
1
A Song for Jerry Slattery and his Family
205
1
A Wedding Song for My Niece Ruth Mitchell...
206
1
A Curse Against Intruders
207
1
Epithalamium for Maeve and Gordon Binchy-Snell
208
1
My Parents
209
2
Taming a Wild Garden
211
1
One More Customer Satisfied
212
1
Io, Io, It's Off to Work We Go
212
1
To My Friends, On My 50th Birthday
213
1
How to Be Extremely Saintly, Rarefied and Moonly
213
1
Falling Feathers
214
1
Loony Prunes
215
1
Sally Go Round the Ombelibus...
216
1
For Gordon Snell...
217
1
Shoot-out at the Hebden Bridge Saloon
218
1
For Nigel and Delyth
219
1
Sardinia, 1979
219
1
To Michael Bell
220
1
Beattie Is Three
220
2
SONGS FROM SOME OF THE SHOWS
222
28
Gardening
222
1
The Violent God
223
1
The Hairy Men from the Hills
223
1
Calypso's Song to Ulysses
224
1
The Children of Blake
224
2
Happy Birthday William Blake
226
1
Poetry
227
1
The Tribe
228
1
Ride the Nightmare
229
1
The Weighing Machine
230
1
Bus Station
231
1
Medical
232
1
A Song of Liberation
233
1
The First Journey
234
1
Speedwell
235
1
The Widow's Song
236
1
The Truth
237
1
Wash Your Hands
238
1
Marie Lloyd
239
1
The Bum-Collector's Song
240
1
Marry Your Mother
240
1
Lament for the Jazz Makers
241
1
Gather Together
242
1
The Pregnant Woman's Song
242
1
Jake's Amazing Suit
243
2
Another Peaceful Day
245
1
Twins
246
2
Cardboard Rowing Boat
248
2
OUR BLUE PLANET
250
The Castaways or Vote for Caliban
250
2
Quit Stalling, Call in Stalin
252
2
Two Good Things
254
1
All the World's Beauty
254
1
Remember Suez?
255
1
Written During the Night Waiting for the Dawn
255
1
Briefing
256
1
Ballade of Beans
257
1
From Rich, Uneasy America to My Friend Christopher Logue
258
1
Official Announcement
258
2
Let Me Tell You the Third World War Is Going to Separate the Men...
260
1
Programme for an Emergency
260
1
Naming the Dead
261
2
Fifteen Million Plastic Bags
263
1
Lord Home the Foreign Secretary
264
1
Order Me a Transparent Coffin...
265
1
A Child Is Singing
265
1
The Dust
266
1
Veteran with a Head Wound
267
3
Life on the Overkill Escalator
270
1
You Get Used to It
270
1
Two Dances
271
1
Good Question
272
1
Dumb Thursday
272
1
Future Poem
273
1
Byron Is One of the Dancers
273
1
Historical Poem
274
1
One Question About Amsterdam
275
1
To the Silent Majority
275
1
Sex Maniac Him Good
276
1
Flag Day--But Not for the Revolution
277
1
The Dichotomy Between the Collapse of Civilisation and Making Money
277
1
Night Lines in a Peaceful Farmhouse
278
1
Display Advert
279
1
How to Kill Cuba
279
1
Autobahnmotorwayautoroute
280
1
Family Planning
280
1
Open Day at Porton
280
2
Gossip Column
282
1
G.I. Joe
282
3
Norman Morrison
285
1
Would You Mind Signing This Receipt?
286
1
For Rachel: Christmas 1965
286
2
Thinks: I'll Finish These Gooks...
288
1
To a Russian Soldier in Prague
289
1
From the Statement of a Vietnamese Buddhist Monk
290
1
Goodbye Richard Nixon
290
1
Ceasefire
290
3
To Whom It May Concern (Tell Me Lies about Vietnam)
293
1
Peace Is Milk
294
6
A Tourist Guide to England
300
2
Ode to the Sponsors of the British Appeal Committee of Europalia' 73
302
1
Sorry Bout That
303
2
Victor Jara of Chile
305
2
Astrid-Anna
307
4
The Airline Steward's Spiel
311
1
Activities of an East and West Dissident Blues
311
1
24 Orders with (Optional) Adjectives
312
1
Carol During the Falklands Experience
313
1
The Reindeer Rider in an Old Russian Photograph
313
1
Chile in Chains
314
2
A Prayer for the Rulers of this World
316
1
Appendix IV
317
2
One Bad Word
319