Results for Henry Beard

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Henry Beard has written 56 work(s)

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Computing: A Hacker's Dictionary

Humorous entries define such computer terms as bandwith, chat room, DOS, hacker, memory, operating system, RAM, spell-check, UNIVAC, and voice-mail

By Henry Beard and Roy McKie

See complete details on each edition (1 edition listed)

Paperback:

9780761117742 | Workman Pub Co, January 11, 1999, cover price $7.95 | About this edition: Humorous entries define such computer terms as bandwith, chat room, DOS, hacker, memory, operating system, RAM, spell-check, UNIVAC, and voice-mail

Bill Gates' Personal, Super-Secret, Private Laptop: A Microspoof

A humorous look inside the computer guru's supposed personal PC reveals his inner-most thoughts and schemes, pictured as though it were appearing on an actual laptop screen covered with fingerprints and a Coke-stained keyboard. 150,000 first printing.

By Ron Barrett (illustrator), Henry Beard and John Boswell

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Hardcover:

9780684854649 | Simon & Schuster, October 1, 1998, cover price $13.95 | About this edition: Offers a humorous look inside the computer guru's supposed personal PC

Mulligan's Laws: A Lifetime of Golfing Wisdom from the Genius Who Invented the Do-Over

A collection of golfing wisdom features hundreds of tongue in cheek insights, proverbs, and tips about the game, the course, and the clubhouse

By Henry Beard

See complete details on each edition (2 editions listed)

Hardcover:

9780385469999 | Doubleday, May 1, 1993, cover price $14.95 | About this edition: A collection of golfing wisdom features hundreds of tongue in cheek insights, including the fact that a golf bag always contains more than six hundred or fewer than three tees

Paperback:

9780385492775 | Doubleday, June 1, 1998, cover price $15.00 | About this edition: A collection of golfing wisdom features hundreds of tongue in cheek insights, proverbs, and tips about the game, the course, and the clubhouse

The Official Exceptions to the Rules of Golf, Centennial Edition: The Hacker's Bible

A revised edition of the best-selling book of golf humor features twenty new additional, compensatory loopholes to the rules of the game designed to put lousy players on a par with their superiors. Original. 50,000 first printing.

By Henry Beard and John Boswell

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Paperback:

9780679741237 | Revised edition (Villard Books, December 1, 1997), cover price $15.00 | About this edition: A humorous guide to the exceptions in the rules of golf, specially created for inept golfers, features drawings illustrating the particular extenuating circumstances the exceptions cover

Zen for Cats

The popular humorist and author of French for Cats presents a complete guide to Buddhism feline style, covering such topics as Horigami (the art of Messing up Important Papers by Sitting on Them) and Shojin Ryori (macrobiotic foods for cats). 100,000 first printing.

By Ron Barrett (illustrator) and Henry Beard

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Hardcover:

9780375500343 | Villard Books, November 1, 1997, cover price $10.95 | About this edition: Presents a complete guide to Buddhism feline style, covering such topics as Horigami, the art of messing up important papers by sitting on them, and Shojin Ryori, macrobiotic food for cats

Bad Golf My Way

A hilarious handbook for the hopeless, hapless golfer presents all of the secrets of high-handicap play, from the Darth Vader Death Grip to the devastatingly effective Fidget, Limp, and Twitch. Reprint.

By Henry Beard, Leslie Nielsen and E. H. Wallop (photographer)

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Hardcover:

9780385483513 | 1 edition (Bantam Dell Pub Group, June 1, 1996), cover price $19.95 | About this edition: Presents a humorous golf instruction book for the millions of inept golfers who will never be able to improve their game

Paperback:

9780385488839 | Reprint edition (Main Street Books, June 1, 1997), cover price $12.95 | About this edition: Presents a humorous golf instruction book for the millions of inept golfers who will never be able to improve their game

The Unshredded Files of Hillary and Bill Clinton

The authors of French for Cats present a humorous collection of faux memoranda culled from the forbidden files of the First Family, including a revealing placemat from a Little Rock rib joint. Original. $50,000 ad/promo.

By Henry Beard and John Boswell

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Paperback:

9780553067637 | Bantam Dell Pub Group, September 1, 1996, cover price $8.99 | About this edition: Presents a humorous collection of faux memoranda culled from the forbidden files of the First Family

What's Worrying Gus?: The True Story of a Big-City Bear

Gus, Central Park Zoo's neurotic polar bear, sets out to carve a new life for himself in the Big Apple as he struggles to find a job and an apartment, keep his sanity, and make his fortune on the mean streets of Manhattan. 100,000 first printing.

By Henry Beard, John Boswell and E. H. Wallop (photographer)

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Hardcover:

9780679449508 | 1 edition (Villard Books, December 1, 1995), cover price $12.00 | About this edition: Gus, Central Park Zoo's neurotic polar bear, sets out to carve a new life for himself in the Big Apple as he tries to find a job and an apartment, keep his sanity, and make his fortune

O.J.'s Legal Pad

A darkly humorous parody of the trial includes O.J. Simpson's instructions to his lawyers, ideas for alibis, caricatures of Judge Ito and the prosecutors, and marketing ideas

By Ron Barrett, Henry Beard and John Boswell

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Paperback:

9780679768838, titled "O.J.'s Legal Pad" | Villard Books, May 1, 1995, cover price $9.95 | About this edition: A darkly humorous parody of the trial includes O.

Leslie Nielsen's Stupid Little Golf Book

A parody on a popular best-seller draws from the actor's personal experiences as a bad golfer, offering fail-safe advice on how to be the worst of the worst on the green. 75,000 first printing. $75,000 ad/promo. Tour.

By Henry Beard and Leslie Nielsen

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Hardcover:

9780385475983 | 1 edition (Doubleday, April 1, 1995), cover price $17.50 | About this edition: A parody on a popular best-seller draws from the actor's personal experiences as a bad golfer, offering fail-safe advice on how to be the worst of the worst on the green

The Official Sexually Correct Dictionary and Dating Guide

A hilarious look at the latest trends in sexual correctness answers questions about the baffling dilemmas of dating etiquette--including Why does 'yes' always mean 'no'? and Is Ivana Trump a 'domestic incarceration survivor'? Original. 75,000 first printing. $40,000 ad/promo.

By Henry Beard and Christopher Cerf

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Paperback:

9780679756415 | 1 edition (Villard Books, February 1, 1995), cover price $10.00 | About this edition: A look at the latest trends in sexual correctness

Cassette/Spoken Word:

9780787102005 | Dove Entertainment Inc, January 1, 1995, cover price $11.95 | About this edition: Cerf's yradition of satire began at Harvard as Vice President of the Harvard Lampoon and continued with the creation of his parodies Not the New York Times and The Book of Sequels.

Poetry for Cats: The Definitive Anthology of Distinguished Feline Verse

A zany parody featuring poetry by the feline companions of some of literature's greatest bards includes 'Do Not Go Gentle to That Damned Vet,' 'Leaves of Catnip,' and 'The Human,' among others. 100,000 first printing. $50,000 ad/promo.

By Henry Beard and Gary Zamchick (illustrator)

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Hardcover:

9780679435822 | Villard Books, November 1, 1994, cover price $12.95 | About this edition: A parody featuring poetry by the feline companions of great poets includes 'Do Not Go Gentle to That Damned Vet,' 'Leaves of Catnip,' and other selections

Sex and Dating: The Official Politically Correct Guide

Product Description: Now that some American students have to fill in questionnaires for consensual lovemaking, going on a date is more of a minefield than ever before. This book aims to tell readers the truth about politically correct sex and is anecdotal, topical and amusing.

By Henry Beard and Christopher Cerf

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Paperback:

9780006383772 | Harpercollins, November 1, 1994, cover price $4.99 | About this edition: Now that some American students have to fill in questionnaires for consensual lovemaking, going on a date is more of a minefield than ever before.

The Way Things Really Work

Provides humorous explanations and clever illustrations for common conundrums, such as why Chinese food always tastes the same, why the soda machine always eats quarters, and how levers and pulleys actually work. 50,000 first printing.

By Ron Barrett and Henry Beard

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Hardcover:

9780670850730 | Viking Pr, November 1, 1993, cover price $14.95 | About this edition: Provides humorous explanations for common conundrums, such as why Chinese food always tastes the same, why the soda machine always eats quarters, and how levers and pulleys actually work

The Official Exceptions to the Rules of Golf

Product Description: It's OK...nay, essential...that you cheat in golf. Finally, a rule book that explains why you're allowed all those do-overs, don't counts, and minor lie improvements you've always felt entitled to. Each rule is illustrated with a helpful line drawing.From the Hardcover edition.

By Henry Beard

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Hardcover:

9780679408864 | 1st edition (Villard Books, May 1, 1992), cover price $15.00 | About this edition: A humorous guide to the exceptions in the rules of golf, specially created for inept golfers, features drawings illustrating the particular extenuating circumstances the exceptions cover

Paperback:

9780679747796 | Villard Books, May 30, 1993, cover price $10.00 | About this edition: It's OK.

Golf Your Way

By Henry Beard

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Hardcover:

9780385469982 | Bantam Dell Pub Group, May 1, 1993, cover price $15.00

Latin for All Occasions and Even More Occasions

Product Description: Brand new

By Henry Beard

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Cassette/Spoken Word:

9781555254384 | Nightingale Conant Corp, December 1, 1991, cover price $10.95 | About this edition: Brand new

Latin for Even More Occasions: Lingua Latina Multo Pluribus Occasionibus

Offers hundreds of useful Latin phrases as well as a pronunciation guide

By Henry Beard

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Hardcover:

9780679406747 | 1st edition (Villard Books, November 1, 1991), cover price $13.00 | About this edition: Offers hundreds of useful Latin phrases as well as a pronunciation guide

French for Cats: All the French Your Cat Will Ever Need

A humorous bilingual guide to the world of cats

By Henry Beard, John Boswell, Henri De LA Barbe and Gary Zamchick (illustrator)

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Hardcover:

9780679406761 | 1 edition (Villard Books, October 1, 1991), cover price $12.95 | About this edition: A humorous bilingual guide to the world of cats

The Book of Sequels

Product Description: The Book of Sequels

By Henry Beard, Christopher Cerf, Sarah Durkee and Sean Kelly

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Paperback:

9780679732976 | Random House Inc, December 1, 1990, cover price $16.95 | About this edition: The Book of Sequels

Latin for All Occasions: Lingua Latina Occasionibus Omnibus

Provides Latin equivalents for a variety of everyday phrases, from Hot enough for you? to Make my day!

By Henry Beard

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Hardcover:

9780394586601 | 1st edition (Villard Books, November 1, 1990), cover price $13.95 | About this edition: Provides Latin equivalents for a variety of everyday phrases, from Hot enough for you?

Skiing: A Skier's Dictionary

Offers tongue in cheek definitions for various skiing terms, from aerials to yodel

By Henry Beard and Roy McKie

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Paperback:

9780894806506 | Workman Pub Co, November 1, 1989, cover price $6.95 | About this edition: Offers tongue in cheek definitions for various skiing terms, from aerials to yodel

The No Sweat Aptitude Test

Offers a humorous parody of the SAT, including questions on vocabulary, math, and logic

By Henry Beard

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Paperback:

9780060963118 | Harpercollins, September 1, 1988, cover price $4.95 | About this edition: Offers a humorous parody of the SAT, including questions on vocabulary, math, and logic

A Dictionary of Silly Words About Growing Up: Written for Parents Who Never Understand Anything Anyway

Tongue in cheek definitions offer a child's perspective on allowances, cousins, homework, manners, nightmares, report cards, school, and younger sisters

By Henry Beard and Roy McKie

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Hardcover:

9780894805844 | Workman Pub Co, May 1, 1988, cover price $10.95 | About this edition: An illustrated collection of funny definitions of such common words as 'aunt,' 'homework,' and 'vacation.

The Pentagon Catalog: Ordinary Products at Extraordinary Prices

Provides a complete listing of spare parts procured by the government for actual use in defense installations

By Henry Beard and Christopher Cerf

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Paperback:

9780894800368 | Workman Pub Co, March 1, 1986, cover price $4.95 | About this edition: Provides a complete listing of spare parts procured by the government for actual use in defense installations

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