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Tables of Contents for The Kids' Guide to Working Out Conflicts
Chapter/Section Title
Page #
Page Count
Introduction: How This Book Can Help you
1
5
Step 1: Open your mind
6
14
What Starts a Conflict? What Makes It Grow?
7
1
Conflict Triggers
8
3
Willingness Lets You Put the Brakes on Conflict
11
1
What Happens When You're NOT Willing to Work Out Conflicts?
12
1
What Are Your Willingness Blocks?
13
2
What Happens When You ARE Willing to Work Out Conflicts?
15
1
Basement or Balcony-Your Choice
16
4
Step 2: Decide to Become a Conflict Solver
20
16
What Conflict Makers Do
20
2
What Conflict Solvers Do
22
1
Where Do You Stand?
23
2
When the Other Person Isn't Willing
25
1
Fake It Till You Make It
26
1
Team Earth Needs Your Help
27
1
"Yes, But" Questions
28
5
What to Do When Your Friends Have Conflicts
33
1
Are You Ready to Be a Conflict Solver?
34
2
Step 3: Become a Better Listener
36
14
NOT Listening Fuels Conflicts
37
1
Listening Is Your Path to Personal Power
37
2
Check Out Your Listening
39
2
Try the Bad Listening/Good Listening Game
41
2
Listen So You Really Understand: Reflective Listening
43
2
Play the "Sounds Like . . ." Game
45
2
Using Reflective Listening When There's a Conflict: Two Examples
47
2
Good Listening Builds Good Relationships
49
1
Step 4: Use Win/Win Guidelines
50
18
1. Cool off
52
1
2. Talk the problem over using I-messages
52
4
3. Listen while the other person speaks, and say back what you heard
56
1
4. Take responsibility for your part in the conflict
57
3
5. Brainstorm solutions and choose one that's fair to both of you
60
2
6. Affirm, forgive, thank, or apologize to each other
62
1
Putting It All Together
63
2
"Yes, But" Questions
65
2
Be a Role Model
67
1
Step 5: Manage your Anger and Gain Control
68
16
What Are Your Anger Pitfalls?
68
1
Why Do So Many People Have Trouble Managing Anger?
69
1
Three Secrets to Getting a Handle on Anger
70
5
Decide Not to Get Hooked
75
2
Make Yourself Zinger-Proof
77
3
Protect Yourself from Other People's Angry Vibes
80
1
When Anger Leads to Physical Fighting
81
2
Take Control
83
1
Step 6: Learn to Manacle Stress and Stay Calm, Cool, and Confident
84
15
Do You Know Your Stress Signals?
86
2
What's on Your Mind? Find the Calm Confidence Within You
88
4
More Ways to Stay Calm and Cool
92
3
De-Stress with Yoga and Meditation
95
3
Choose Calmness
98
1
Step 7: Be Smart About Bullying
99
19
Teasing versus Bullying: What's the Difference?
100
2
Eight Ways to Stop Teasing
102
2
Why Do People Bully? Is It Really Such a Big Problem?
104
1
Self-Check: Are You Bullying or Harassing Anyone?
105
1
What to Do If You've Bullied Others
106
2
What to Do If Someone Is Bullying You
108
5
"Yes, But" Questions
113
2
Bullying and Sexual Harassment
115
2
Choose to Be a Peacemaker
117
1
Step 8: Build Yourself Up from the Inside Out
118
16
Follow a Day-by-Day Plan
118
1
Strengthen Your Courage Muscle
119
2
Strengthen Your Forgiveness Muscle
121
2
Observe Yourself
123
1
Observe Others
124
1
Believe in Yourself
125
9
Resources for You
134
3
Working Out Conflicts Survey
137
2
References
139
2
Index
141
5
About the Author
146