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Tables of Contents for Anything Can Happen
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CONTENTSTake Two My Bear Lecture to One Suffering Yet Another Identity Crisis On Aristocracy What Bothers Me Advice to Those About to Acquire a Rembrandt Tyranny for Beginners Don't Take Your Soul to New England Stopping by Words on a Snowy Evening On Your Conduct at the Dinner Party My Stump Speech On Class Distinctions Shorter Than Bacon's A Song for Jessica New Year's at Luchow's Yo, Weatherman The Men's Room Wall: A Fantasy Beautiful Houses Lines Written Nowhere Near Tintern Abbey Twenty Things One Would Like to See in Movies Odes for a Rainy Afternoon The Albatross That Brought Everyone Good Luck Bring a Wildebeest Home to Mother Jaws's Side of Things Dogstoevsky Love Song Go Where You Are Loved Essays. I, Too, Dislike Them If in My Sleep Instructions to the Housekeeper "Neglect" With Narcissus in the Aquarium Kilroy Was Here The Puppet Theater of Your Irrational Fears Teach the Free Man How to Praise The Day I Turned into the Westin Cliff's Other Notes Environmentalists Hearing Test Everywhere a Hit Person Lessons for Grades 1 to 6 If You Had Given It a Moment's Thought The Bathroom for You 13 Ways of Looking at a Blackboard Something's Wrong Shorter than Bacon's (More) The Giant Rat of Sumatra In the Madhouse in Beirut Should Your Name Appear Things I Can Take, Things I Can't Relax Cliff's Other Notes (More) The Inventor of Time Explanation to an Unprincipled Employer Signs of Accomplishment as Depicted in the Rear Window of a VolvoA Valediction for All Occasions A Brief History of Idiocy The Intervention of Facts You Think I'm Kidding Ashley Montana Goes Ashore in the Caicos How to Live in the World Aubade Instructions to the Pallbearers On the Other Hand The Grateful Living