What if a wimpy kid was born in the Stone Age?

Turning 13 is when caveboys miraculously change from skinny, hairless, squeaky-voiced cowards (like me) to thick-browed, hair-covered, deep-grunting cavemen (like my best friend Ug). That’s when we’re tested. It’s called the Arrival. You’re supposed to disappear into the woods and return with something big, dangerous, or rare—preferably all three. Except I can’t even lift a club above my shoulder. Even with my friends Ug and Saleeka trying to teach me to hunt, I don’t have a chance. If I fail the Arrival, there’ll be an extra line on my family’s stone tablet saying: Helix was banished to the Dark Side because he was a massive embarrassment to his family, as well as any self-respecting caveman on the mountain. So my story might as well end here, but I’ll keep telling it anyway. Charcoal meat on a stick, anyone?