Amazon.com description: Product Description: One of the five "Best Actress" nominees would kill for an Oscar. . . .

Fiona Covington--This lovely English rose wowed the world with her portrayal of a repressed lesbian nanny in a bold retelling of Mary Poppins. But her personal life is a far cry from Merchant-Ivory material.

Amber Lyons--Three years ago she was folding khakis at the Gap. Now she's Hollywood's hottest discovery, with a passion for rock stars--and a problem the tabloids won't ignore.

Connie Travatano--This well-preserved diva is a sentimental shoe-in--
if her notorious addictions to sex, vodka, and shoplifting don't get in the way.

Lori Seefer--By playing a scientist who injected herself with a serum that left her deaf, dumb, and blind, Lori nabbed a nomination with ease. But her most difficult role will be playing it straight in public.

Karen Kroll--Porn star turned serious actress, her insane ambition and steamy blond looks hide a career-wrecking secret.

For one nominee, it's all or nothing. If she doesn't win, she'll reach into her Chanel purse, pull out the pearl-handled revolver, point it at the stage of the Shrine Auditorium, and shoot the tramp who's been named Best Actress right between the eye tucks. . . .